NFL Grab Bag

(I found some very interesting tidbits from the FootballGuys website, so let me give them full credit before sharing some great stats they collected from the first three weeks of the NFL season):

* Cleveland has allowed 12 TDs on defense. 11 passing TDs and only one rushing TD

* Detroit has only allowed one FG. New England hasn't allowed any

* Surprisingly, the Saints have only 9 offensive penalties

* The Bills longest passing play is 22 yards - and it didn't go to Lee Evans

Lee Evans, appropriately, running without the ball

* The Chargers are 30th in rushing offense

* Buffalo has 0 passing TDs, the only team with none

* In just three games, Detroit has 776 more passing yards than the Bills

* All Dallas receivers are averaging a combined 16.9 yards per catch

* Chad Johnson has 24 first downs on 25 receptions

* Kansas City has 0 rushing TDs and only 9 rushing first downs. Their longest run is only 12 yards

* New England has scored 38 points in each of their three games. 38-14, 38-14 and 38-7

Week 3 - News & Notes

Welcome to the afterglow of another great week in the YouBeQB universe. I've got some fresh News & Notes ramblings to hit you with, but before we do that, let me call out some of the impressive performers we see on the site.

QB Spotlight: Let's give some well-deserved to kudos to QB 'SpanishMongoose' , who is simply crushing the All-Pro mode. Mongoose has made 856 play calls, and has been correct 48% of the time, which is simply phenomenal. This gives Mongoose a QB Rating of 259, which is about the highest I've seen. Mongoose has managed to stay in the Top Ten of the overall leaderboard (#8 actually, with 32,550 points) but has only played 14 total games! This is compared to some of the other regular names at the top of the leader-board, some of whom have played as many as 100 games or more. Terrific job, SpanishMongoose - I don't know what your name means, but I'm afraid of you. And if you feel like giving away some of your secrets, or perhaps begin teaching a seminar on football knowledge, just let me know where to send my Paypal payment.

QB Spotlight Honorable Mention: Fantastic job done by QB 'bulldoginit22'. This University of Georgia fan out of Atlanta is near the very top of the leaderboard when it comes to play-calling accuracy. Bulldoginit22 has correctly predicted an astonishing 57% of his (or her) play calls so far. It should be noted that this was while in the 'Rookie' mode rather than 'All-Pro', but impressive nonetheless.

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JOHNNY U’s CRACKBACKS - Week 3 Edition:

• I realize I’m about the 50,000^th person to make some kind of smart remark about this, but regardless I’m compelled to say this to Peyton Manning’s agent: “It’s OK to say NO every once in a while when you get a commercial offer for your client.” Even Robert DeNiro and Ben Stiller think Peyton has no standards when it comes to taking acting jobs.
• DeShawn Wynn, meet Frisman Jackson. Frisman… this is DeShawn.
• Memo to Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy: Shouldn't you be HAPPY after a win? Check out this post-game press conference tirade from OSU coach Gundy. He's really ticked off about this article written in a local paper. As Stewart Mandel from CNNSI said in his column this week, "It was the kind of monologue you usually only see in a movie (think Nick Nolte’s character at the end of Blue Chips, or perhaps an angrier version of Tom Cruise’s "wig out" speech in Jerry Maguire)."
• What was with all the switching in and out between Culpepper and McNown in the Oakland-Cleveland game? Has Lane Kiffin been watching tape of Steve Spurrier’s 1997 Florida Gators or something? What’s so hard about naming Culpepper the starter until further notice (i.e. when JaMarcus is ready to roll)? Culpepper isn’t great but he’s ten times the QB that Josh McMuffin is.
• To me, the biggest shock of the Week 3 NFL schedule was this:

Bucs 24

Rams 3

(Makes me glad that I don’t gamble on football games)

• Is it possible that, in college football, that the Rutgers-type story of 2007 is Rutgers again? They're 3-0, ranked #17, and no one thought they would be this good. You may call me Captain Obvious.
• Don’t know if you all caught this on NFL GameDay, but in that wild Eagles-Lions game (56-21 final), when Brian Westbrook and Kevin Curtis scored three times EACH in the first half, it was the first time in NFL HISTORY that a pair of teammates scored 3 TDs apiece in a single half. Zoinks, Scooby.
• Also, the 63 points those two teams put up in the first half (42-21, Eagles at the break) was the 2^nd highest total in NFL history.
• One final note on the Eagles: I heard a lot of unkind things said about the Eagles’ throwback uniforms that they sported in this game – powder blue and yellow jobs that supposedly were inspired by the flag of Sweden. They were ugly, don’t get me wrong, but I was much more repulsed by the shiny silver things that the Patriots had going. Now THOSE things were hideous. Looked like a cross between Dr. Evil’s spacesuit and a Halloween costume bought at K-Mart.

• From the "That's Just Wrong" File: We've finally found the one piece of memorabilia that OJ did NOT try to steal from that hotel room in Las Vegas.
• As proof-positive that celebrities never, EVER learn, word is now circulating that there is yet another in a long line of leaked X-rated tapes featuring famous people who were too stupid to hit the 'Delete' button. This newest one apparently features Meg White (drummer for the White Stripes). While the people responsible for leaking this tape spend their time trying to ponder how they will make money off of this purloined property, I find myself - in the meantime - attempting to come up with a dollar figure in my own head. And by that, I mean how high of a dollar figure I would pay to NEVER have to see that tape.

Calling All QBs!

Hail to all in the YouBeQB universe. How does it feel to be the smartest person you know? And no, I'm not trying to 'damn you with faint praise', a'la Al Czervik from 'Caddyshack'.

"Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch."

(By the way, my favorite part of that picture is that you can see Mr. Wang in the background snapping a few photos with his Nikon. "Hey, Wang! What's with the pictures?! It's a parking lot... come on!")

Why am I giving you props for being so smart, and letting you know that you're no slouch? Because if you're reading this not only are you part of that rarefied group of early adopters who have discovered YouBeQB in its gestational beginnings, but you're part of an even more exclusive sub-strata of people who have found the YouBeQB Blog! Give yourself a pat on the back.

We're getting cranked up and ready to roll, for another fantastic week of college and pro football action.

So, speaking of action, I've assigning YOU a 'call to action'.

What is the call to action, pray tell, you ask?

I want to start featuring some of the cool leagues, and other creative ideas that are starting to percolate throughout the site. If you're in a cool league, drop us a line and tell us all about it - maybe you'll see an item in the Blog devoted to telling the world how cool YOUR YouBeQB league is.

Don't belong to a league? Then tell me about you - how you're doing with your picks, why you picked your QB name, what you like most about YouBeQB.

Want to be immortalized? Then I want you....

---JohnnyUnitas

Week 2 - News & Notes

Another fantastic week of games, and another stellar week at YouBeQB! Lots of new QBs joining in the fun, and we're glad that you found your way to the Blog, because it's blog-tastic.

One of the regular features that we do on Tuesday mornings is to hand out some awards for great performances (and some not-so-great) by various QBs on the YouBeQB site. So let's do that now, hmm?

QB Spotlight: (Since we're seeing some of the same names atop the leaderboard that we saw last week, I thought I would call out some of the other QBs who are putting up stellar performances on YouBeQB.) Big round of applause for QB '12fan12' - of all QBs on the site who have picked more than 10 plays, 12fan12's success percentage of 58% is better than any of them. According to the QB bio, 12fan12 is out of Yakima Washington, and favorite team is the Indianapolis Colts. Great job, 12fan12! Keep up the great picks, and please give me some tips if you're feeling charitable.

12fan12 accepts his award graciously.

QB Spotlight Honorable Mention: Kudos to 'FleaFlicka69', who is sporting the top QB Rating among all the YouBeQB quarterbacks. FleaFlicka has accumulated a gaudy 245 QB Rating, due in large part to his 47,060 points, 38% success rate on play-calls, and $48M salary.

Nice job, Flicka! However, YouBeQB officials think you might be guilty of taking performance enhancing supplements, so a team of YouBeQB officials have been dispatched to your hometown of Austin, TX to obtain a sample from you -- so that we might do some drug testing. No one should be this good! Keep it up, and please let the rest of us know how you're doing it.

"Wait - whaddya mean you suspect

I might have taken HGH?"

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JOHNNY U’s CRACKBACKS - Week 2 Edition:

• A lot of people are making an argument (and it's a GOOD argument) that LSU - not USC - is the best team in the nation. They are *killing* teams. In three games, the Tigers have allowed 7 points total - and that was to a Virginia Tech team that is pretty darned good (ranked #17 in the AP poll). LSU's other two games were shutouts, and so this leaves the Tigers ranked #1 in the nation in Total Defense. How good does that October 6 matchup between Florida and LSU look?!
• By the way, LSU fans? Don't get too attached to head coach Les Miles. Enjoy him while you've got him - because when Lloyd Carr gets canned at Michigan (something I wish I could put money on, because it's a LOCK), the first person the honks at The Big House are going to call is Les Miles. And for those people asking why Miles would leave LSU for a Michigan program that his slipped out of the top-tier of college football schools, the answer is simple: He attended Michigan, he got his start in coaching at Michigan, and he idolized Bo Schembechler. And, yeah - one more thing: the Big Ten is about a hundred times easier of a conference than the SEC. Book it!



"With every Michigan loss, my price tag gets another

zero added to it. And I need to live near a Waffle House."

• I could be grasping at straws here, but I think the source of Donovan McNabb’s struggles could be the fact that he ditched the big Afro. He went with a completely shaved head in the preseason, and is now letting it grow in a bit. He’s just not the same player without the Huggy Bear fro. Let’s dispatch someone to go swipe his Wahl™ clippers.
• 
  
• I’m sure some of you heard about the controversy regarding the Emmy Awards. Kathy Griffin apparently had her acceptance speech cut from the pre-taped broadcast for offensive comments she made - something that mocked people who thanked God for their awards, and that Jesus had nothing to do with her receiving this award.
• Wow. I think I speak for all of us when I say: You’re telling me Kathy Griffin is still on TV?
• Speaking of the Emmy Awards, it’s hard for me to believe that they had to resort to having Ryan Freaking Seacrest as host?! The next funny thing that guy says will be the first. And he can try as hard as he wants to attempt to make *really* skinny ties cool, but it’s not going to work. He just ends up looking like Fred MacMurray.
• 
• Listen, I know that Jeff Garcia is like 150 years old or something, but the guy still looks pretty good! And on that 25-30 yard post pattern, nobody throws a ball that looks any better than Garcia. I don’t even mind that he drives a glittery, pearl-colored Escalade SXT. I’d rather have him on my fantasy team than Jason Campbell or Alex Smith.
• From the “Tell Me Something I Don’t Frickin Know” File: All I have to say is this: Joey Harrington sucks. A lot. Thank you for your attention.
• So does Josh McCown. That is all.
• Noel Devine, the freshman RB for West Virginia, is an out-and-out stud. I kind of have a man-crush on him, a little bit. Mountaineer fans better hope he sticks around for a couple years, because Dude has crazy amounts of game. Take a look at highlights of his runs against Maryland, and tell me he doesn't look like the second-coming of Reggie Bush. If you search 'noel devine' in YouTube, you'll also find some footage of him running in high school that will melt your brain. Check this out, and make sure to see the sick, SICK spin move that he pulls at the 1:30 mark. It's like something out of Madden.
• 
• "When You Get to Hell, You Can Pretend it's a Sauna" -- I just noticed this story making the rounds on the AP Wire - apparently a Nebraska state senator has sued God for making terroristic threats against him and his constituents. When I say "sued God", I mean he actually filed a lawsuit in court naming God as the defendant. When my brain finally stopped spinning like a Hannukah dreidel, I was left with only one thing to say on this topic: Hey, Nebraska! Nice job on electing your public officials! Even Minnesota (the state that elected Jesse 'The Body' Ventura governor) thinks that you guys need raise your standards for civic leaders.
• Did you see that fantastic catch Todd Heap made in the corner of the end zone against the Jets – it was a thing of beauty. Tight ends aren’t supposed to be that nimble and have hands like that. Heap is a stud.
• 
  
• Memo to Deion Sanders and his satin dress shirts with stripes on the collar that match his ties: 1998 called, and it wants its fashion trend back.
• From the ‘Is That a Friggin' Fact?’ File -- Not sure if you caught this tidbit on 'NFL Primetime', but in that crazy 51-45 Browns-Bengals game, it was the first time since 1970 that the same game had a 400-yd passer, a 200-yd rusher and a 200-yd receiver. Not only that, but it was only the second time in NFL history that a QB threw for 6 TD passes AND LOST. (The other time was in 1986 and Dan Marino did it, back in those days when the Phins had no rushing game and zero defense whatsoever.) I love me some Ocho Cinco!
• 
• Finally, my favorite quote of the season so far comes from Dolphins rookie RB Lorenzo Booker. He was talking about his first experience lining up in an NFL backfield, at the start of training camp:

"I looked to my left and saw Jason Taylor. I'm not going that way. Looked to the right and there's Joey Porter. Can't go that way. I said to myself, 'You know what? I'm not at Florida State anymore.' "

Toto, we're not in Florida State anymore.

---JohnnyUnitas

Unclear On the Concept

In my previous blog entry, I commended a couple of QBs who have had a fantastic start to the football season - piling up more points than Lindsay Lohan's driving record. This time, as we stand on the cusp of another action-packed weekend of games, let's take a look at the OTHER end of things.

Who's having, shall we say, a slightly rougher start to the season?

In other words, who is going to be the first recipient of the Dead Ass Last trophy?

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DEAD-ASS LAST: Technically, QB 'xplay' is not at the absolute *bottom* of the Leaderboard, but that's only because there are a bunch of QBs who created an account, logged in to one of the games, and then never actually recorded a pick. (You can't really count those people, I think, because those folks seem to not be getting the whole 'interactive' concept of YouBeQB. They must be waiting for their computer screens to do a trick or something).

But 'xplay' is not one of those people - xplay DID make some picks - a lot of picks, actually. 82 in fact.

And how many do you reckon xplay got correct?

You guessed it.

0-for-82.

Wow. Just wow. I have to believe that going 0-for-82 is as hard as going for 82-for-82, no? At some point, wouldn't you accidentally get one correct, even by accident? Close your eyes, swing the bat, no idea where the pitch was going, but you hear the crack of the bat and before you know it you're standing on first base?

That's what I would imagine would be inevitable. I'm thinking you could give Helen Keller a YouBeQB login, and a mouse, and she'd do better than 0-for-82.

But it's not completely hopeless. Xplay's 'QB rating' is 3.0, so he's got something to build on. Nowhere to go but up! Baby steps. Next stop: 1 correct play call. (Ah, to sleep, perchance to dream, Shakespeare said.)

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HONORABLE MENTION

I'd also like to shine the spotlight, for a moment, on the QB calling himself ' steve mcquen '. If we can leave aside, for the moment, the creative spelling of the last name and instead focus on the fact that the star of such seminal films as "Bullitt", "The Great Escape" and "The Cincinnati Kid" must be positively spinning in his grave that he is being associated with such putrid play-calling.

In the course of two games and 74 play calls, 'steve mcquen' (a member of two different YouBeQB leagues) was able to predict a grand total of 1 correct play - and that was a Field Goal call on 4th down.

Oh, the humanity.

1-for-74. That's a batting average of .013.

Mario Mendoza just filed a petition asking that the name of 'The Mendoza Line' be officially changed to 'The McQuen Line'.

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Enjoy the interactive site, be sure to be telling your friends to sign up for YouBeQB! We've created the wave, now let's ride it and let some lucky friends in on the fun!

--JohnnyUnitas

Week 1 - News & Notes

A fantastically successful week of games has now been completed. We had some terrific NCAA action, and then tons of NFL hotness lighting up the site. Thanks to you for helping YouBeQB become a phenomenon in online interactive fantasy sports!

Let's start by taking a quick look at some of the hottest YouBeQB's, and then I'll give you some news, notes and general thoughts on life in general.

YouBeQB MVP: The top dawg in the standings at this moment is user: Davidtodohalloffame (32,880 points)

This guy is simply an animal. Want me to hit you with some stats? OK, I'll hit with you some stats.

You talk about a "power user" - Davidtodahalloffame was a QB in 53 separate games (primarily NCAA matchups), and he called 4,398 plays with a 31% success rate. His YouBeQB rating is now 143, and his 'salary' is an astronomical $33,880,000. Unbelievable. That's more amazing to me than the fact that Ashlee Simpson used some rhinoplasty to become hotter than her older sister.

YouBeQB Honorable Mention: Among top point-getters in the Pro category, you've got the QB nicknamed FOZZIE .

FOZZIE got very comfortable with the YouBeQB interface, piling up 25,680 points in 17 games. His play-call percentage sits at a sparking 42%, and this pegs his QB Rating at 210.

Insanely good, and I'm planning to ask for lessons, if he would be willing to share some of his considerable expertise. I just hope he doesn't charge me any more than 75 bucks and hour, because I'm on a fixed income.

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JOHNNY U's CRACKBACKS - Week 1 Edition:

• Interesting article from ESPN.com about the New England Patriots being suspected of spying on opponents. I'm shocked! Shocked, I say. We all know Bill Belichick looks for any edge to help his team win, and I thought it was noteworthy that an anonymous member of NFL's Competition Committee was quoted in the article as saying, "It's not their first time." NFL officials got wind of the shenanigans, apparently, and confiscated a camera from a Pats sideline employee and sent the thing off to the league office in N.Y. to be inspected. Good luck with that, Commissioner Goodell - it should be the least interesting video since the Kim Kardashian "accidentally" leaked her home movies.


• The 'Frisman Jackson Memorial Fantasy Award' is going to be given out this week. (This prestigious award, of course, is given to a player who has a monster Week 1, followed by a general frenzy for the guy in fantasy leagues nationwide, and then Dude is never heard from again for the rest of the season). The award's namesake - in case you can't recall the immortal Frisman - is a guy who caught like 800 yards worth of balls for the Cleveland Browns in Week 1 of 2005. Everyone got more revved up than a groupie in Justin Timberlake's hotel lobby, and then Frisman didn't catch another ball for the rest of the season (which is a shame, since I love the name 'Frisman' like a fat kid loves cake. We all need more 'Frisman' in our lives). In any event, this year's nominees for the award are: Ronald Curry (133 yds, 1 TD), Antwaan Randle-El (5 catches, 162 yds - but 55 yards came on a fluke ricochet at the end of the first half), Shaun McDonald (90 yds, 1 TD) and an Honorable Mention to Drew Carter (2 cheap TD catches on only 19 yds receiving). I think the smart money to become the next Frisman is Randle-El, since the guy did virtually nothing in 2006, and Santana Moss is clearly The Guy in Washington. (I'm probably wrong about this, as I am about most things across a variety of subjects.)


• From the "Can You Frickin' Believe It?!" File: I don't know if you knew this (you probably did, because you seem pretty sharp), but Michigan and Notre Dame have never (EVER) both started out 0-2 in the same season. I'd put the Over/Under on "Total # of 'For Sale' Signs Planted in Charlie Weis's and Lloyd Carr's Front Yards by Angry Fans" at 42.5. (And give me two dimes on the Over.)

• Tough opening week for Browns QB Charlie Frye. First, his Browns get blown out by the Stillers in Week 1. No real big surprise there, the Browns have been getting the business-end of the Steelers wrath for years now - but Frye didn't just lose a game, or even his starting job. The guy got traded first thing on Tuesday morning, before his jockstrap even finished the Delicates cycle in the dryer! Now that's a tough week.


• I think it's pretty easy to read the tea leaves on that one - even though Brady Quinn held out for most of training camp, it's clear that the Quinner is being groomed for the starting job, sooner rather than later. (And by 'sooner', I mean before Target can get their Halloween decorations put up). Personally, I believe this is a mistake. Does no one remember the mistakes that were made with Tim Couch and Akili Smith? (and I'm talking about mistakes *besides* the decision to draft them in the first place.) Rushing along a young QB, especially one who missed big chunks of training camp, always ends badly. Couch and Akili fit that bill, and both of them bombed worse than K-Fed's rap album. (By the way, before any of you wise-apples point out to me that Akili Smith was not a Brown, I'm well aware of this. Thank you. My point was that - even though Akili Smith's extraordinarily-brief NFL career imploded in Cincinnati, which is right down I-75 a spell from Cleveland - he held out and then was rushed along too soon. That, coupled with the fact that he sucked, spelled doom for his chances of success.)

• I attended the Niners-Cardinals game on Monday night (GREAT ending, by the way - more action in the last five minutes than an entire Kansas City Royals season), and I have to say that Vernon Davis looked like a complete non-factor in the Niners offense. For a guy selected #6 overall in the NFL Draft, I was amazed to see Alex Smith never look in his direction. V.D. grabbed one little 4-yard pass on the final drive of the game, but other than that he looked like a high-priced decoy to me.


• Don't know if you caught this in the highlights (since I sincerely doubt you were watching the Chiefs-Texans game), but it was good to see beleaguered former-#1 pick Mario Williams have a good game. While the Texans were (justifiably) pilloried in the media and skewered by their fans - who would have much preferred to see them use that top pick on Reggie Bush or hometown boy Vince Young - Williams has experienced the brunt of the blowback, through no fault of his own; after all WILLIAMS didn't make the mistake of picking himself #1. That blame gets apportioned to former Texans GM Charlie Casserly and owner Bob McNair. What should Williams have done? Say, "Sorry, I think there are a couple of more-deserving guys than me to take this $64 million. I'd prefer to go #3." Is that reasonable? That's about as likely as Samuel L. Jackson or Ben Stiller ever saying No to a script.

• So, on Sunday against Kansas City, Williams had a pair of sacks and returned a fumble for a TD. Good for him. It's not going to wash the stink of Charlie Casserly's mistake off of him, but it's nice to see him have some success.

That's it for this edition of the blog! Be sure to check back regularly for the newest installment.

--JohnnyUnitas

The Winds of Change

Shh! Listen... Do you hear that?

Just listen.

Do you hear something?

You're not listening.

It's just a faint whisper brushing through the treetops, like the soft rustle of crinoline petticoats in a Southern belle's skirt as she sashays down a dusty country lane.

What is that noise, you ask?

It's the winds of change.

We've felt this wind before, my friends, gloriously cool upon our cheek.

On a misty November day in 1892, William 'Pudge' Heffelfinger accepted $500 to suit up and play football for the Allegheny Athletic Association club, helping them to a win in their game against their rival, the Pittsburgh Athletic Club.

And thus, professional football was born.

The winds of change stirred that day.

In 1961, a Bucknell University math student named Hal Richman had the idea for a tabletop baseball game using cards that had statistics of players in past seasons. He called it Strat-O-Matic, and it became a huge hit. With some rolls of the dice and consulting of cards for various major-leaguers, a stat-obsessed kid could construct season after season. Through the years, Strat-O-Matic fended off hours of summer boredom for countless youngsters.



More winds. More change.

In the summer of 1980, a New York magazine editor named Dan Okrent had the idea to 'draft' various baseball players onto fantasy teams and compete with a group of his friends. They would meet at a Manhattan restaurant for lunch called La Rotisserie Francaise to play. They called their new hobby 'rotisserie baseball'.

And just like that, fantasy sports were born.

The winds of change were blowing mightily that day.

Now, on a recent fall day in 2007, YouBeQB was launched. So if you close your eyes and listen intently, you can hear that same wind -- infused with traces of the voice of Pudge Heffelfinger, the click of Strat-O-Matic dice on a '60s tabletop, and the smells of a Manhattan eatery -- starting to kick up again.

Congratulations to you for being one of the first to recognize a new wave in interactive sports. Enjoy in it; bask in it.

YouBeQB has arrived.

And it's here to stay.