Who Wants to Get Fired First?

I've never been a fan of either Notre Dame or Nebraska, but nonetheless, it's stunning to see the depths to which each of these once-proud schools has plunged.

I don't even know which one to start with.

Suppose I'll begin with Notre Dame - because Touchdown Jesus has officially become Field Goal Jesus.


Forget for a moment that Ty Willingham got fired after a 6-5 season (and in that season, the Irish DID beat #8 Michigan and #9 Tennessee - and Willingham *still* got clipped). Forget for a moment that Charlie Weis just got a 10-year extension or something ridiculous like that. And even forget that Weis is in the middle of guiding the Golden Domers to what would be the first 1-11 season in school history. They have already lost 8 games this season, and only two other Notre Dame teams have ever lost that many in a single season.

Charlie Weis, offensive genius?

Right after he got hired in 2005, Weis - sporting a fistful of Super Bowl rings and a spotless NFL pedigree - told his new players, "every game you will have a decided schematic advantage."

(Either that, or you'll lose to Navy... one or the other.)


Notre Dame lost to NAVY last week, for crying out loud! The only thing Navy football should ever have in common with Notre Dame football is that you can barely tell their uniforms apart.

The last time the Midshipmen beat Notre Dame, Roger Staubach was running the Navy offense.

Weis spun the loss by saying that his players "need to learn how to win".



Not against Navy, they don't.

They should be able to do that in their sleep.

So I would imagine that the Notre Dame trustees will soon begin the difficult discussion of how much they would be willing to pay in order to buy out Charlie's 10-year contract.

How many games do I think we're

going to win this year? This many...

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As for Nebraska, how does Bill Callahan continue to cash his paychecks with a straight face? The Huskers gave up 76 points to Kansas! Yes, I realize that Kansas is a top-10 team this season.

But did YOU realize that Nebraska gave up 60 points to Kansas - in the entire *decade* of the 1960s? And 69 points to Kansas during the entire decade of the '70s?

What in the name of Warren Buffett and ConAgra is going on around there?

Into every season, a little rain must fall, eh, Bill?

To a keep a little self-respect, Callahan should resign - though he probably should have resigned at the post-game press conference while answering questions about the Kansas debacle. Or perhaps he should have done himself a favor when he was caught referring to Nebraska legend Tom Osbourne (now back as interim A.D.) as a "crusty, old f***".

But a story out this morning is reporting that Callahan will NOT quit, even though the only people who want Bill to stay on as Cornhuskers coach are the head coaches of Nebraska's remaining opponents. Here's a link to that story.

In it, Callahan says, "That term 'resignation' is not in our vocabulary."

What does he mean "OUR vocabulary"? How many people would be resigning?

This is the most definitive proof yet that there are voices in Callahan's head telling him what to do. And judging by the play-calling, I'd wager a guess that at least half of those voices are borderline mentally-challenged.

Bill? The only thing I can say to you is this: I hope you didn't buy a house in Lincoln... and that if you did do the smart thing and RENT, that your lease is month-to-month.


---JohnnyUnitas