"A Twistin' Triple?! Are You Qualified for That?"

I've been taking a little ski vacation this week, so I thought I would take a moment to point out a couple of immutable truths that I've observed the last few days while spending time on the slopes:

1. Any guy wearing a ski jacket in which White is the predominant color, is making a definite statement. And I don't think it's a statement any man wants to be making.
2. For some reason, any girl in full snowboard gear instantly becomes 22% hotter. A team of physicists at M.I.T. is currently studying this phenomenon.
3. Because I watched "Hot Dog... The Movie" (1984) about two hundred times during a misspent youth, every single time I get off the gondola the uber-cheesy '80s anthem
   "Nothin' Feels Quite Like the Top of the Hill" runs through my head, no matter how many times I've tried to do something to change this unfortunate eventuality.
   

---JohnnyU