Running with the Bulls, Rally Racing & Tori Spelling

I've never been one of those people who would dream of participating in the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, just not my cup of tea.

My mother often likes to remind me how many hours she was in labor with me, and it seems like an odd way of showing my gratitude for that sacrifice by voluntarily allowing myself to be gored by a pissed-off 2,200-lb. animal that has been whipped into a frenzy by a clutch of mentally-questionable adrenaline junkies high on Sambuca and greenies.

Why is this on my mind, apart from the fact that I'm the king of the non sequitur?

I actually have a good answer for that: I saw an amazing clip of some rally racing where some super-genius nearly buys it because he's trying to dodge a drifting race car. If this dude isn't a candidate to show up on the Darwin Awards within the next calendar year, then I don't know my business.


Luckiest Rally Car Fan Ever - Watch more free videos


I suppose my point on this whole thing is: are the people who line the course during a rally race people who weren't SMART enough to run with the bulls in Pamplona? Because I would never want to get near an enraged bull that has been teased and tormented to the point it's looking for a piece of somebody... anybody - but I'd *much* rather line up and start sprinting away from Ferdinand than stand next to a village road where some French dude is going to come flying by in his out-of-control Renault that has about a 50-50 chance of turning you into road pizza.

Here's another guy who is insanely lucky (and irretrievably moronic):



And finally, this guy seems to be walking a little funny after this near-death experience, most likely because I'll bet he soiled his underpants and has to walk with a clench until he can get to a restroom.




Madre de dios. Watching those clips makes me queasier than a close-up photograph of Tori Spelling.


To quote Austin Powers, "That's a maaaannn, baby!"

And I'd like to know what the Before and After pictures signify? Before *what*?! Adam's-Apple removal surgery?

I don't think even Bill Clinton would be interested in getting with her. (Actually, I stand corrected - Bill would like to say something):





---JohnnyU