Happy Leap Day

THE ORIGIN OF LEAP YEAR

Pope Gregory XIII devised the 365-day calendar in 1582, based on how long it takes Earth to orbit the Sun. But it actually takes closer to 365.25 days. So the pope’s people added an extra day of the year every fourth February to compensate for the discrepancy. Want to be even more accurate? Earth circles the Sun in exactly 365.242199 days. To make up for that discrepancy, Leap Year is skipped every three out of four century years not divisible by 400 . . . so 2000 was a leap year, but 1900, 1800, and 1700 weren’t.

Rumors From the NFL Combine

I found some great bits of news on a football message board - though I should stress that none of this information is official, confirmed or vouched for accuracy:

• Look for veteran Billy Volek's name to surface in Atlanta. Even though they'll likely draft a quarterback 3rd overall, they need a veteran to start fresh and keep the seat warm. Volek is favorite of owner Arthur Blank, who offered him a deal once before to back up Michael Vick, but instead he went back to Tenneessee.
• Look for Byron Leftwich's name to possibly surface in San Francisco. Martz thinks he can re-energize him and Alex Smith's support in the Bay Area is on life support.
• Carolina wide receiver Keary Colbert is also very interested in playing the slot for Martz. His agent confirmed that to us.
• Kansas City is interested in quarterback Brian Brohm and have talked to his agents
• Oakland is clearly looking for D-Line help and it appears their relationship with Tommie Kelley is close to over.....The Raiders staff has been told that this year they will be rebuilding both the offensive and defensive lines in the draft....They also don't see running back Lamont Jordan coming back in Oakland.
• Tatum Bell and Julius Jones have been linked to Tennessee, Tampa Bay and Carolina
• Baltimore appears ready to admit defeat and they will rebuild the offensive line. They feel that last year was an aberration because of injuries and they realize that they still have enough on offense to win, with even Kyle Boller, but their offensive line has gotten awfully porous lately.
• Marcus Stroud's longevity is clearly in doubt. His microfracture ankle surgery is really not responding and there is serious concern that he may never make it back to earn the money he signed for last year. The signing of Grady Jackson for two years was obviously done for this reason. They are also interested in bringing in Rod Coleman for a look see.
• In Jacksonville they are excited with the emergence of young linebackers Clint Ingram and Justin Durant, so there is also talk that Mike Peterson days may be numbered....They also would love to pry Laveranues Coles from New York to bring him back home, so don't be surprised if thes two teams dance on draft day....Jax is also in the Justin Smith sweepstakes and has shown interest in veteran free agent wide receivers Bryant Johnson and Dante Stallworth.
• Flozell Adams is now getting love from Kansas City, Baltimore and Atlanta
• Carolina is still toying with trading Julius Peppers
• Arizona is also still considering trading Larry Fitzgerald and there is still smoke around Ocho Cinco's stay in Cincy....I keep hearing that Mike Brown is willing to do something with Chad Johnson if Chad is willing to give back some bonus money pre trade and the new team will give him a new deal.
• Tennessee is hot for free agent wide reciever Bernard Berrian and recent cap cut tight Alge Crumpler....Tennessee is not really that hot for running back Tatum Bell, contrary to media reports. They are, however, talking to Julius Jones' folks....Jones and Bill Parcells were spotted eating together Thursday night, which has fueled some rumor mongering that the Miami Dolphins are after him
• Also, the Bears are shopping running back Cedric Benson. Good luck finding takers!
• Tennessee also seems interested in Texas A&M defensive tackle Red Bryant. He and Albert Haynesworth would be a tremendous tandem
• Most scouts think all the good values at wide receiver will be in round two, and few will go in round one now that Malcolm Kelly has pulled out of the combine with a severe quad hematoma. Insider word is he may not be able to work out for 4-6 weeks.
• The number of red flagged draftees (injuries) is surprising low this year. That's a good sign....The offensive line talent in this draft is deeper than I thought. Steelers staff said its the best in 25 years, in their opinion.
• Ohio State defensive end Vernon Gholston is moving up, as is Virginia's Chris Long....But Auburn's Quentin Groves is really causing a stir here. He met with 49ers' head coach Mike Nolan and told him your going to be sorry you traded the 7th pick for Staley after I run a 4.4 forty! Big Talk, but if he does he will be a top 10 pick for sure.
• The New York Jets and Miami Dolphins want to sign Dallas Cowboys free agent tackle Flozell Adams
• Wide receiver Javon Walker is rumored to be heading to Tampa Bay.

NFL Scuttlebutt on a Monday Morning in February

With all the news this week in the world of football, it just goes to prove my previously-posited adage that "there is no off-season anymore".

Let us dip our collective toe into the water to see how it feels:

• Adam Schefter, of the NFL Network, reports the Detroit Lions will trade DT Shaun Rogers within the next week. Four teams have shown interest in Rogers, according to Schefter. So, how does this work? Matt Millen wakes up one morning and decides, "What can I do to shake things up? I know! How 'bout if I trade the team's best defensive player for no discernible reason?!" (Clearly I made that thought-bubble up, since Matt Millen would never use the word 'discernible'.) I know Rogers is a big dude, doesn't have huge stamina and so he becomes something of a liability at the end of a 10+ play drive, but I don't see any reason to get rid of him - can't the Lions just get a guy to spell him on third downs when the big fella is sweating like Ted Stryker in the movie "Airplane" and he's sucking in air like a sailfish on the deck of a sport fisherman's yacht? Getting RID of him seems to be a bit reactionary on the part of the Lions, doesn't it?

Clearly, Matt Millen and Isiah Thomas just continue to pass the mantel of "Seriously, what do I have to do to get fired around this place??" back and forth between the two of them. And as soon as one of them does get the boot, Kevin McHale is eagerly waiting to take the guy's place on that mantel.

• Vikings OT Bryant McKinnie was arrested early Sunday on several charges, including aggravated battery and resisting arrest without violence. Police say McKinnie participated in a large street brawl outside a strip club hours after being thrown out of another nightclub. McKinnie allegedly spit on a patron at the first bar. All I can say is that if I was a nightclub bouncer, and I was asked to roust the 6'8", 335-lb McKinnie, I'd quit on the spot.

• In the "Least Surprising News Item of the Week", New York Jets linebacker Jonathan Vilma has been given permission to shop himself in a trade. With asterisk. According to the Boston Globe, Vilma's camp claims that he's limited to 30 teams, and that the Jets have made it clear that he isn't permitted to shop himself to the New England Patriots.
• People in the media are trying to make this into a big story, as if it's somehow a big story that a team won't send a player to their top division rival. In related news, the Steelers still won't trade with the Browns, the Packers and Bears don't do many deals, and Carl Peterson (GM of the Chiefs) doesn't have Al Davis in his cell phone's Fave Five.

---JohnnyU

Life 100 Years Ago

I thought these were some interesting statistics about life 100 years ago:

• The average life expectancy in the United States was 46.
• Only 14 percent of American homes had a bathtub. Eight percent had a telephone.
• Sugar cost 4¢ a pound, coffee was 15¢ a pound, eggs were 14¢ per dozen.
• The cost of a three-minute phone call from Denver to New York City was about $11.
• Only 6 percent of American adults were high school graduates. Ten percent were illiterate.
• Ninety percent of doctors in the United States hadn’t attended college.

I like that last statistic a lot - so what was the prerequisite for becoming an MD? Just hanging out a shingle and calling yourself 'Doc'?

Also, if eggs were 14 cents a dozen, but a three-minute long distance call was eleven bucks, who the hell would have been able to afford to make phone calls? John D. Rockefeller could make calls to Andrew Carnegie, and that was about it, right?

I guess having a phone around the turn of the last century was like the equivalent of private-jet travel in today's world?


---JohnnyU

Best? Prank? Ever?

Any time someone says that something is the best prank ever, I usually reach for a can of Pringles and disdainfully close my ears.

But this thing here? It's a whole different can of Pringles.

Giants Fans Collectively Hold Their Breath

Although it's hard to believe that Eli Manning has actually turned into a marketable endorsement commodity, but that Super Bowl performance of his may have pushed Eli into the same hemisphere as his wildly-overexposed older brother, Peyton.

Rumors are swirling this week that Eli is going to be the next cover boy for EA's Madden football franchise.

Is someone yanking me here?

*ELI* Manning is going to be on the cover of Madden '09?! Have I stumbled into an alternate universe of some sort?

Was that one throw to David Tyree in the fourth quarter THAT good? To quote from the article I link to above:

I wonder what's the largest amount of money one athlete has ever made from a single game or single play.

Mike Eruzione's goal was probably quite lucrative (especially since his earnings in hockey from that point on were somewhere around $0). Cedric Ceballos made way too much money after winning the dunk contest, and Buster Douglas's win over Mike Tyson drastically changed his financial future.

I guess my final thoughts on this are: If it's true that there really is a Madden Cover Curse, then (a) Giants fans are collectively having a fuss-fit right now, and (b) the cover subject probably should have been Adrian Peterson - that makes more sense, dontcha think?


---JohnnyU

A Fine Use of the American Judicial System

This Just In:

An item that certainly should be filed under 'Slightly Stupider Than the Stupidest Thing Ever', a lawsuit was filed by a former St. Louis Rams player who is ticked off that the Patriots allegedly videotaped Rams practices before the 2002 Super Bowl - that the Pats ended up winning 20-17.

NEW ORLEANS (AP) -- A lawsuit filed Friday by a former St. Louis Rams player and others seeks millions of dollars in damages from the alleged taping of Rams practices by the New England Patriots before the 2002 Super Bowl.

The Patriots won the game 20-17 in the Superdome.

The $100 million suit, filed on behalf of former Rams player Willie Gary in U.S. District Court in New Orleans, names the Patriots, team owner Robert Kraft and head coach Bill Belichick.

I have a couple of thoughts about this:

1. Someone's yanking my cannoli here, right? Right?! Lawsuits like this can't be allowed can they?
2. Assuming that no one is actually yanking my cannoli, can you at least tell me this: Who the hell is Willie Gary? Maybe instead of suing the Patriots, he should sue his financial planner - for leaving the guy destitute enough to need to file this kind of lawsuit; or maybe he could sue his parents for not giving him enough talent in his genes to sustain a longer career as a professional athlete.'

Just food for thought.


---JohnnyU

I Can Haz Clogged Arteries, Please?

Check this the hell out: Scottish deep-fried candy bars

Now, before any of you supah-geniuses out there point out that this is a common thing even here in the ol' U.S of A, I'd like to preemptively retort with these two tidbits of information about me:

1. I typically do not spend a lot of time at county fairs or livestock competitions
2. I live above the Mason-Dixon Line

Make sure you scroll to the bottom of the page and check out the 'deep-fried pizza'.


---JohnnyU

Sexism Isn't Cool... But I Guess it Used to Be?

From my Page-a-Day calendar, I found this beauty - apparently these are tips taken from a book (or possibly pamphlet) written and published way back in 1943:

FROM “ELEVEN TIPS ON GETTING MORE EFFICIENCY OUT OF WOMEN EMPLOYEES,” (1943)

• “Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. A girl is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick, and wash her hands several times a day.”

• “Be tactful in issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women can’t shrug off harsh words the way that men do. Never ridicule a woman—it cuts her efficiency.”

• “Give the female employee a definite schedule of duties so that she’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes.”

• “Be considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.”


That's more unintentionally hilarious - while also deplorable and sad - than Sinbad's comedy act (in my own defense, the reason I was watching Sinbad is that is what channel was already on, and the remote control was nowhere to be found and I was too lazy to get up and look for it - it was under the couch or something).

How did employers think this would be a good idea? Although, now that I think about it, this wasn't even the worst kind of short-sighted prejudice going on - after all, in those days plenty of people still actually believed that folks' skin color should determine which drinking fountain they used.


One other gem that I got recently from my Page-a-Day calendar (what would I do in the off-season withOUT that thing?) was this:

In 2005 Canadian Marc Lachance met and fell in love with a Belgian woman named “Sabine” on a Cuban vacation. Sadly, after the trip, he lost her address and phone number. After some extensive research, he found that there were 3,700 women in Belgium named Sabine and planned to contact all of them until he found the right one. When the European media picked up the story, the real Sabine’s brother heard about it on the radio and told his sister. Moved by the act of love, Sabine tracked down Marc’s phone number, called him, and they made plans to reunite.

I have a couple of thoughts on this item:

• Nothing good happens when you start with Cuba, then mix in a Canadian guy with a Belgian gal. That's just asking for trouble, even if it's at a Waffle House.
• Wasn't this a bad John Cusack/Kate Beckinsale movie a couple of years back? "Serendipity"? I'm thinking it was...

But at least this gives me a good excuse to post a picture of Kate Beckinsale, because Kate Beckinsale = The Hotness.


---JohnnyU

This'n'That

Some random NFL thoughts on a Tuesday during the off-season:

- What's up with the Dolphins cutting Trent Green, Marty Booker, and a sheaf of other players? The explanation from the team is that they "are trying to clear some cap space to sign free agents". Ohhh-kay. You were already $22 million UNDER the cap to start with, and that got you to a 1-15 season. Now that you're $31 million under the cap, what does that do for you? Maybe if you save ALL the money, and have zero players (or maybe make *them* pay the team to play!) and then the team will really be a money-maker, and they'll only be one win worse than last year. I should be an NFL GM, I think.

-- According to ProFootballTalk, the Ravens - who weren't happy to see super-stud LB Adalius Thomas bolt to the Pats in the last off-season - aren't going to take any chances with semi-stud LB Terrell Suggs. Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome announced that the team would use their franchise player tag on Suggs in order to keep him from walking. Incidentally, Suggs has the same agent (Gary Wichard) as Colts DE Dwight Freeney - and after Indy slapped Freeney with the same franchise tag last year, Wichard negotiated a 6-year, $72M deal for his client that included $30M in guaranteed money.
So, in the words of the stuttering boxing champ in the movie 'Harlem Nights', Terrell Suggs, "you get ready to be a rich [brother]".


-- There is speculation that Pats CB Asante Samuel, fresh off of dropping a sure interception on the final drive of the Super Bowl - an INT that would have sealed a perfect season for the Pats, may be the first DB to sign a $100M contract. Nate Clements signed an $80M deal with the 49ers last year, but Yahoo's Jason Cole thinks that mark is going to be topped this off-season.

"Under the terms of the one-year tender contract Samuel agreed to before last season, the Patriots can't put the "franchise" tag on him again this year, making him an unrestricted free agent this offseason.

That fact was of keen interest to a number of players in action Sunday at the Pro Bowl. The Denver Broncos' Champ Bailey, once the highest paid cornerback in the league, wants to see what Samuel is offered and accepts. Cornerback Marcus Trufant, who is likely to be franchised by the Seattle Seahawks this month, is interested. Finally, budding star Antonio Cromartie of San Diego, who has the size, speed and skill to be the best of all of them, could be talking to the Chargers about an extension in the next couple of years."

-- Apparently there were some murmurs in Honolulu over the weekend that Jerry Jones, who is looking to make a big splash this off-season, wants to work a deal for Cardinals' WR Larry Fitzgerald. According to the secret source, the hyperactive owner wanted to closely observe Fitz at the Pro Bowl, especially to see what the chemistry was like when Fitz was around the numerous (13 in total) Cowboys Pro-Bowlers. Tony Romo did throw a TD pass to Fitzgerald in that game, and with the Cowboys stocked with plenty of tradeable assets (including TWO 1st-round picks in the upcoming NFL Draft), it seems like a very plausible scenario.

My question is: how is Terrell Owens going to feel with a guy like Fitzgerald on the other side, who is probably as good a WR as Owens is - and doesn't drop as many passes? How pissed would T.O. be if #11 became Romo's favorite target instead of #81? T.O. doesn't like to share the spotlight - as evidenced by the sideline interview at the Pro Bowl with him during the 3rd quarter, and T.O. had caught his second TD of the game and predicted that he would be chosen as the game's MVP.

"For a while there, it was looking like T.J. [Houshmandzadeh] would be the MVP. He caught two earlier in the game, but now I've just passed him."

I have two thoughts on this:

1) Sweet irony that MVP ended up being rookie Adrian Peterson (T.O. was nowhere to be seen after the game)

2) I don't know where T.O. attended first grade, but if you have two of something (like TDs), and someone else also has two of something, you haven't "passed them". You're actually tied.

Hope that helps.


---JohnnyU

A Couple of Smiles for February

I know I've been a bit of slacker since the Super Bowl, but you know me...

Scouring the earth to bring you - my tens of loyal readers - the best from the world of sports, pop culture, and especially the weirdness from the soft underbelly of cyberspace.

Here are a couple of things that I found very entertaining over the last couple of days:

Grape Ape! Grape Ape!

In 2001 a gorilla in the Pittsburgh Zoo leapt eight feet over a moat and grabbed onto an inch-wide bamboo stem leaning against the enclosure wall. Then she climbed the bamboo like a rope, all the way up the 16-foot wall.

Once she was on the other side, the gorilla began foraging for junk food. (Below is a picture taken by a zoo visitor that shows the gorilla outside of her enclosure). Once free, she raided a concession stand, consuming muffins, pastries, and soda. Resourceful zookeepers finally figured out how to lure her back into captivity: Hershey’s Kisses.
The gorilla was tranquilized and returned to her habitat, and the bamboo was immediately trimmed.


I liked The Great Grape Ape Show, by the way. I think they should film a new version of that, where David Hasselhoff could play the Grape Ape.

Yes, I think it should be live-action, not animated.


---JohnnyU

$2.7 Million for 30 Seconds Doesn't Buy What it Used To

I'm not trying to steal the USA Today's gig or anything, since they love to rate the Super Bowl commercials, but without having read their annual article, I will say that there were ZERO standout, memorable commercials this year.

Where was this year's Bud frogs? Or Terry Tate the Office Linebacker? The Bud Bowl?

Can a brutha get a decent commercial for $2.7M per 30 seconds?

Apparently not, but I was pleased to see this list of the Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials of All Time (including the infamous 1984 Apple commercial that was only shown a single time).

It made up for the dreadful offerings during this year's game.


---JohnnyU

Football Remission: It's Officially the Off-Season

While it is true that there "is no offseason in football these days" (I don't know who said that - so I'm not sure why I put quotation marks around it, but I've heard it from someone, so I thought some attribution would be best), but the day after the Super Bowl is always a bit of hangover - both literally and figuratively.

It's going to be a good five months or so before we get the gridiron cranked back up, but let me hit with some good stuff.

CNNsi.com had a great package of the '21 All-Time Dumbest Super Bowl Questions'.

Here they are, in reverse order:

21) Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was asked: "What is your purpose in life?"

20) Bills running back Thurman Thomas was asked how he got psyched for big games. "I read the newspaper and look at the stupid questions you all ask," he replied. He probably spent hours at it because Super Bowl media day is a factory farm of dumb queries.

19) To Cowboy QB Troy Aikman: "Does it seem a little strange answering football questions in a baseball stadium?"

18) For Rams RB Marshall Faulk: "How come you have a podium while all your teammates are forced to stand out here?"
17) For Titans DT Joe Salave'a: "What's your relationship with the football?" (Salave'a's answer: "I'd say it's strictly platonic.")

16) To Raiders QB Jim Plunkett: "Is it your mother who's blind, and your father who's deaf, or the other way around?"

15) To Redskins QB Doug Williams: "So how long have you been a black quarterback?" This is now widely debunked as an urban legend, but the following was asked: "Doug, would it be easier if you were the second black quarterback to play in the Super Bowl?"

14) To Redskins OL Mark May: "How does it feel to block for the first black quarterback in the Super Bowl?"

13) To Ravens LB Ray Lewis: "How long have you been surrounded by thugs?"

12) To 49ers QB Joe Montana: "So why do they call you Boomer?"
11) To Bills LB Cornelius Bennett: "Do you believe you can win?"

10) To Patriots G Heath Irwin: "Would you like to see the AFC win the Super Bowl?"

9) To Cowboys G Nate Newton: "Have you noticed the logo is missing on one side of the Steelers' helmets?"

8) To Rams QB Kurt Warner: "Do you believe in voodoo, and can I have a lock of your hair?"
7) To Cowboys RB Emmitt Smith: "What are you going to wear in the game Sunday?"

6) Broncos FB Detron Smith: "What size panties do you think you'd wear?"

5) To Bills C Kent Hull: "Can I have your pants?"

4) For Rams OT Orlando Pace: "After the game, in the shower, what's your favorite bar of soap?"

3) To Steelers LB Kevin Greene: "How long does it take you to wash your hair?"
2) To Rams DE Jay Williams: "Is Ram a noun or a verb?"

1) To Broncos QB John Elway: "Are you going to listen to Stevie Wonder perform at halftime?"



---JohnnyU

Worst Invention Ever?

There have been a lot of really bad inventions over the years, many of which you can read about here, but I don't know if I've ever seen anything as stupid as this:





Do you think that, when they ship the Hawaii Chair to you, they include some Dramamine and a certificate for a complimentary vertigo treatment?

By the way, in case you were wondering (and I doubt you were) why I've not blogged about the Super Bowl at all, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that there is so much overkill with the current amount of coverage - I didn't want to add my voice to the other effluvia.

Plus, I think you all should commend me on how I've completely avoided the topic of Britney Spears's committal to a mental hospital - with particular focus on avoiding any mention of the fact that Brit-Brit has been classified by the UCLA Medical Center as 'Gravely Disabled' (or G.D. for short) which means the patient is unable to take care of basic needs, such as the acquisition of food, clothing or shelter.
I don't want to pile on Britney in her darkest hour, so I won't even mention that anyone who saw her MTV Awards performance would attest to the fact that Britney does not have any problem "acquiring food".

So I'll just stop before I mention any of that.


---JohnnyU