Stephen Curry, We Hardly Knew Ye...

Did anyone besides me audibly gasp when Stephen Curry dished off the ball to teammate Jason Richards to take the last shot against Kansas? I understand that Curry was wearing two Jayhawk defenders like a sweater and socks, but less than a minute earlier (with 00:57 left), Curry spotted up and buried a 3-pointer, making it 59-57. Was there a single person in the building who thought anyone BUT Curry would take that last shot? Now we'll never know if he woulda made it. I feel cheated.

Beastie Boys say, "I'll kick you outta my home if you don't CUT THAT HAIR!"

Reports are surfacing that at the NFL owners meetings in Florida next week, the league is going to propose a "No Long Hair" rule for players, which might turn into a somewhat bushy problem for Troy Polamalu.

Couldn't they just name the rule 'The Polamalu Rule'? I mean, who do they think they're kidding?

Though there could also be some consideration given for calling it the 'Al Harris Rule' or the 'Mike McKenzie Rule', though neither of those guys have been *tackled* by their hair the way Polamalu has.

There is some precedence in this area - when they instituted a new rule a couple of years ago: 'The Horse-Collar Rule'. They couldn't have named that rule after Roy Williams? After all, the genesis of the rule was *clearly* due to #31's predilection for grabbing a guy by the shoulder pads and riding him like a toboggan into the ground.

Why couldn't they have called it the Roy Williams Rule? Who would that be hurting? I'd get a big kick out of it, and Roy couldn't possibly complain, as the following pictures conclusively demonstrate:



But don't expect the NFL owners to be creative enough to call this 'The Polamalu Rule', just like you shouldn't expect to see Troy (or any other NFL player) to get tackled by their hair again any time soon.



---JohnnyU

Supah-Genius

Candidate for the Darwin Awards, for sure...

Story can be found here



Wed Mar 26, 10:02 PM ET

CHICAGO - An alleged thief wasn't fazed when workers at a Chicago muffler shop told him a safe he wanted to rob wasn't open. He just asked them to give him a call when their boss returned with the combination.

The 18-year-old got a call. But so did Chicago police.

When Ruben Carate returned to Velasquez & Sons Mufflers For Less on Monday, plainclothes Chicago police officers shot and wounded him in the leg. Carate was charged Tuesday with attempted armed robbery and aggravated assault of a police officer, the Cook County state's attorney's office said.

"He gave us his phone number when we told him we didn't have any money. He told us to call him back when the owner came back with the money and he was going to come back and rob him," said worker Tony Diaz.

"It's pretty funny now, but it wasn't at the time," Diaz said.

A masked man entered the shop with a gun and demanded money around 8 a.m., said mechanic Jose Sida.

Employees told him they carried little cash and couldn't open the safe, so the man left two numbers to call when the owner came in, Sida said.

"No one could make this up," said police Lt. Scott Schwieger.

The man returned around noon, wearing the same mask and clothing. Officers told employees to get to the back of the shop, Sida said.

Carate was treated at Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center for a gunshot wound, said Mark Payne, a spokesman for the Independent Police Review Authority. An inquiry into the shooting will take six months to complete, he said.

UCLA is Good... and Lucky...

There's been a lot of hullaballoo about the end of the UCLA-Texas A&M game, and whether or not A&M's Donald Sloan (who took the last shot) was fouled on the play. Now, I'm actually a Bruin alum, so I'd love to believe that there was no foul (ALL BALL!), but after looking at these pictures, it's hard to keep the faith in that respect.

He may have brushed his arm slightly...

This was probably not a foul, because
Josh Shipp didn't use BOTH hands?

Not Fun Things Happen on March 24...

--- ::: ON THIS DATE IN HISTORY ::: Apparently, March 24 is a rough day for bridges and tunnels, because a pair of disasters around those structures happened on this date (albeit 62 years apart, but still).

• March 24, 1932: Twenty members of a touring party of Roller Derby skaters and support personnel are killed when their bus blows a tire, crashes into a bridge abutment and explodes in flames outside Salem, Illinois, The barnstorming troupe was en route from St. Louis to Cincinnati for another performance by the increasingly popular Derby, founded in 1935 by Leo Seltzer in Chicago. The horrific inferno nearly puts the enterprise out of business, but replacement skaters will be signed and Roller Derby will prove to be a durable sporting attraction.

• March 24, 1999: The Mont Blanc Tunnel is a road tunnel in the Alps under the Mont Blanc mountain, linking Chamonix, France and Courmayeur, Italy. On March 24, 1999, a truck carrying a cargo of flour and margarine caught fire in the tunnel. The margarine load in the trailer was the equivalent of 6,000 gallons (23,000 liters) of oil and caused the fire to burn for 56 hours and reach temperatures of over 1,832°F (1,000°C). The blaze claimed 39 lives. There were 51 people trapped inside the tunnel after the blaze began, and the 12 people who survived all said the same thing: "That guy on the motorcycle saved my life". It was Pierlucio Tinazzi, a security guard employed by the Italian side. His job was to ride up and down the tunnel to see that everything was running smoothly. He was on the French side at the time emergency services had given up. He donned breathing equipment and rode into the tunnel on his BMW K75 motorcycle. He was in radio contact with the Italian side for over an hour before succumbing to the intense heat. He died inside the tunnel. His BMW melted into the pavement after he dragged an unconscious truck driver to behind a fire door. A commemorative plaque at the Italian entrance honors his heroism.

---JohnnyU

News & Notes from Day 1 of March Madness

• I'm assuming that you saw Duke's Gerald Henderson take the ball coast-to-coast with about 20 seconds left in the 4th quarter and the Blue Devils trailing 15-seed Belmont? Shades of UCLA's Tyus Edney going 94 feet against Missouri back in 1995? That's the very first thing I thought of when I saw that happen.
• Dammit, I DEMAND to know who snuck into my Yahoo account and changed my Purdue-Baylor pick? I never, EVER would have actually picked Baylor, would I?! And whoever you are, Anonymous Vandal, did you have to really have Baylor going to the Elite 8? That wasn't cool. What did I ever do to you?
  
• I thought it was very sportsmanlike and generous of Marquette coach Tom Crean to decide not to study any film whatsoever of Kentucky guard Joe Crawford. It seemed to me that the kid was left completely uncovered and absolutely torched Marquette - he had, ironically, a very Dwyane-Wade-esque line of: 35 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists. The last time a guy had that unfair of an advantage on a basketball court, Billy Madison was playing on a 6-foot hoop against 3rd-graders.

• I should at least *mention* that, even with Crawford earning himself ten years worth of NBA paychecks with that one first-round game in the NCAAs, that Marquette still managed to hold off Kentucky. So maybe Tom Crean's strategy to not guard the opponent's best player paid off in the end, yes?
• Hey, Phil Martelli?! Frankenstein called, he wants his skull back.
• For all of you people who picked Georgia and thought you were so smart for about 39 minutes on Thursday when the Dawgs were rolling over Xavier, how now Brown Cow? It serves you right for picking a team that finished in LAST PLACE in the SEC this season, but got hot and put it all together for three days during the SEC tournament. Even Gerry McNamara and the Syracuse Orangemen of 2006 are mocking you.

STATITUDES:

• 11: This would have been UCLA's margin of victory over Miss. Valley State if they had not taken a single shot in the second half. They could have scored ZERO points after halftime and still won by eleven.
  
• 11: Winthrop scored 11 points in the second half against Washington State. They were tied 29-29 at halftime, and Winthrop finished the game with just 40 - not only that, but they needed a late 3-pointer just to get those 11 second-half points. Are the Cougs for real?
  
• 1946: That was the year that a team last scored only 29 points in an NCAA tournament game, like the Miss. Valley State Delta Devils did against UCLA on Thursday.

Mad About the Madness

You know, it's strange how it feels as though the entire country is waiting with bated breath for the NCAA Tournament to tip off - everyone is in an office pool, concocting ways to catch glimpses of the games at lunch or from their work computers - and then you see the Xavier-Georgia game on TV, and when the camera does a cutaway, you see tens of fans littering the seats.

Seriously, the arena was like three-quarters empty.

What's wrong with the fans in D.C.? They don't like March Madness? What on earth is going on out there?

It's a shame, too, because you know that with Kansas-Portland State getting out of hand quickly, they didn't have much choice but to show UGA-Xavier.

March Madness deserves better.


---JohnnyU

Tip a Shamrock Shake for Me

The shamrock: The Druids of the British Isles believed that four-leaf clovers, which are rare, enabled people to see witches and evil spirits. When trying to convert the Irish to Christianity, St. Patrick used the three-leaf clover to demonstrate the three branches of the Holy Trinity.

The parade: On March 17, 1762, in New York City, a group of Irish soldiers serving in the English Army were on their way to a tavern when, on a whim, they started marching. With banners raised and drummers drumming, their spontaneous display delighted onlookers and began a tradition that evolved into the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

Matt Leinart Looks Happy

I would very much like it if someone could please explain to me what Matt Leinart is doing in this photo:

And, I should mention that Dude apparently doesn't know how to knot a tie; yet, somehow I still don't think Leinart has a lot of trouble getting ladies' attention.

Regardless, that photo makes about as much sense as this one:



---JohnnyU

JaMarcus Nearing Three Bills?

I thought this was a terrific item, if for no other reason that it brings to light one of the best nicknames I've heard in a while - namely: "The Lord of the Ring-Dings".


===================================

Kudos to the reader who pointed out to us a riveting nugget buried in a free-agency review from Don Banks of SI.com.

Per Banks, there are rumors that Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell is closing in on 300 pounds.

Three. Hundred. Pounds.

He's officially listed on the team's web site at 255.

If Russell is indeed up to 300 pounds, he'd take over the crown of heaviest NFL quarterback from Giants backup Jared Lorenzen, who is listed at 285.

Then again, if the Lord of the Ring Dings is officially listed at 285, our guess is that he's already north of 300.

===================================


(A big thank you to my friend Ed, who brought this blog item to my attention. I admire Ed for two reasons: (1) he has a lightning-quick wit and knows how to make people laugh, and (2) he looks like an odd hybrid, or bastard love-child, of Egon Spengler from 'Ghostbusters', Paul the dorky kid from 'The Wonder Years', mixed in with a little dash of Beaker from 'The Muppets'.)

Worst NFL Free Agent Signing So Far?

Can we talk for a second about the crazy jack that NFL teams are throwing around to free agents in this offseason?

It's unbelievable, really. You could make an argument for Tommie Kelly signing for $50 million from the Raiders despite the fact that he's rehabbing from an ACL injury.

Is that the worst free agent signing so far?

I would argue No.

You could also make a case for it being Bernard Berrian - the ex-Bear who jammed the WR-desperate Vikings for a 6-yr, $42M deal that includes $16M in guaranteed kaysh. This for a guy who has never had a 1,000 yard season in his career.
I almost opted for Cleo Lemon, who guided the Dolphins to an historically bad season, and came within a Greg Camarillo overtime miracle of posting the first 0-16 season in NFL history - and Cleo squeezed the Jags for a 3-year deal for $9M. Nine million for Cleo Freaking Lemon?! Is he any better than a practice-squad player for them?

Lord, thank you for my meager skills. They've made me a rich man.

But for my money (which it's NOT, thank God) the worst free-agent signing this year goes to the Raiders: how can Oakland justify paying Javon Walker in essence a three-year, $27 million contract, with $16 million guaranteed, when he's missed like 10 games per year for the last three seasons?

Another way to look at this is that Walker is getting more money than Randy Moss got from the Pats (3 years, $27M, but only $15M guaranteed for Moss compared to $16M for Walker).

If you needed any further proof that Al Davis died in, like, 1996 and they have been using an animatronic puppet for him ever since, this would be it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go slap the sh1t out of my parents for not giving me talented-enough genes to play pro football for a living.


---JohnnnyU

Hail... to... the... Redskiiiiins!

From the "Are You Friggin Kidding Me" File comes this report: According to ProFootballTalk, the Washington Times is reporting that the Redskins have re-signed special teamer (and third-string RB) Rock Cartwright to a 3-yr, $3.55 million deal.

Is someone yanking me here or what? Now, Cartwright may have one of the all-time great football names - but $1M+ per year for a dude who had TWO CARRIES for ZERO YARDS during the 2007 season?!

I must be missing something here - maybe Rock has other talents that we don't know about? Perhaps he entertains the kids with balloon animals at the team 4th of July barbeque? Maybe he has secret photos of Skins owner Daniel Snyder wearing ladies' bloomers?

Or maybe Rock's agent just realized what the rest of the NFL (and especially guys like Brandon Lloyd and Antwan Randle-El) has known for a long time: that The Daniel has way more money than sense.


\

Dracula's Castle For Sale?

If you've got a spare $77 million lying around in your couch cushions, you may want to check into buying Vlad the Impaler's original castle, dating from the 14th century. It turns out the castle is for sale by the real Dracula's distant descendants.

I think living in a tourist attraction that not only brings in nearly a half-million visitors a year, but is also a place that's more than 600 years old, might present some unique challenges.

It might be a good place for Brad and Angelina to raise their burgeoning brood. I'll drop their agents a quick note. Come to think of it, they probably read my blog.


---JohnnyU

This Pilot is a Friggin' Stud

No idea how the pilot of this A320 Airbus in Hamburg managed to keep this thing from rolling over from the vicious crosswind, but this is one of the sickest things I've ever seen.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ddb_1204404185

Can Someone Please Help Me?

Because I am confused...