News & Notes

-- You know what, the only interesting that I can come up with about that Pats-Bills game on Sunday night is that, in the 1st quarter of that 56-10 snoozer, JP Losman hit Roscoe Parrish for a 47-yard touchdown – and Al Michaels observed about the Buffalo fans, “This crowd is frenzied!” I thought this was hilarious, because there was virtually no ambient noise in the background – and when the camera panned to the crowd, and rather than looking frenzied it seemed as though they had taken a collective Xanax. Not only that, but at least half the crowd seemed to be wearing Patriots jerseys.

-- Remember back in the old days (like, last season) when Chad Johnson used to be good? Or should I say, Remember back when the Bengals used to be good?

-- Check this out – crazy dune climbing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3HQd8M1C4o
All I have to say about this clip is that these dudes have balls the size of pumpkins.

-- You know one thing that confuses me? (I know… there are a lot of things that confuse me, including simple magic tricks and shiny pieces of metal – I said this is just ONE thing that confuses me): and that’s when I see people at sporting events wearing a player’s jersey who has long-since departed that team. For example, when I spot people at Candlestick Park wearing 49ers jerseys with #5 on it and ‘GARCIA’ on the back, what is that supposed to mean? By my count, Jeff Garcia has played for (count ‘em) FOUR different NFL teams since he left San Francisco many years ago. So what are you saying when you wear that jersey? Are you saying, “I’m a fan of the Browns, Lions, Eagles and Buccaneers – as well as the 49ers”? Or are you saying, “I sunk eighty-nine bucks into this jersey and I can’t afford to buy another one”? It’s got to be one of those, right? Which one of those two types of losers do you want to be?

-- Speaking of losers, a couple of weeks ago while attending a 49ers home game, the stadium was mostly empty and a number of the Niners players were warming up on the field right in front of where my seats are. And this one donkey of a fan leans over the railing and yells to Frank Gore, “Hey, Frank! You’re killing my fantasy team this season!” Gore just shook his head and smiled. I was so embarrassed for the fan that I nearly renounced my affiliation to fantasy sports right on the spot. If you have ever (or would ever) interact with a professional athlete by explaining their place in the world as it relates to your fantasy roster, you are a loser. Plain and simple, with no qualification. Loser. Please kill yourself immediately.

-- I’ve been starting to wonder if the Patriots will break the record for Largest NFL Point Spread in History when they face the Dolphins (or Jets) later this season. I did a little research and found that the highest spread on record was in 1993 when the 49ers were laying -23.5 against the Bengals. The Niners won that game 21-8. If you recall, later that season the Niners were 18-point favorites in the Super Bowl against the Chargers (and ended up winning 49-26).


-- I remember hearing an apocryphal story about that Super Bowl, when a Vegas sportsbook had a wiseguy-looking fellow walk in with a metal suitcase. He opened up the case and bet $3 million in cash on the 49ers straight up. He didn’t want to lay the points, so of course he had to give odds (he had to cut his payoff down to 1:6) – but it didn’t matter and the day after the Super Bowl, he collected his $500k.

-- Speaking of crazy point spreads involving the 49ers, I noticed that – for this past weekend’s game against the Rams – the 49ers were GETTING 2.5 points, AT HOME… against a team with one win that started the season 0-8!

I don’t know which is more appalling to me – the fact that the odds-makers set the line that way, or the fact that the Rams covered the spread anyhow. So I suppose the Niners really did deserve that disrespect.