Friday, November 2, 2007

They Call Me Heat-Miser

I'm wondering if anyone can adequately explain why Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed is the spitting image of the claymation character 'Heat-Miser' - who was featured in the 1974 Rankin-Bass film "The Year Without a Santa Claus".



"He's Mister Green Christmas,
He's Mister Sun.

He's Mister Heat Blister.
He's Mister One Hundred and One."


"They call me Heat-Miser... whatever I touch.
Starts to melt in my clutch.

I'm... too much!"


Now, one other thing that I thought was curious is: when I went to the ol' Google to look for pictures of Jeff Reed (and also Heat Miser), I found some seriously disturbing photos of the kicker:


A couple of thoughts about this picture: (1) this is a great photo of him rocking the Heat Miser 'do. (2) I am curious as to why he is wearing an arm-band at a bar. (3) I'm even more curious as to why he is NOT wearing any type of shirt. (4) Listen, I was BORN in Pittsburgh (western Pennsylvania - home of Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana, Dan Marino, Jim Kelly); but even I have to ask -- does every 20-something guy in Pittsburgh wear their cap backwards? Do all the women in that city have arms the size of a buff NFL place kicker and wear dresses with spangly things on them like the back of a Sparkletts water truck?

I feel like I need to know these things.

Furthermore, as I drilled into this picture a little more, it brought me to quite a few more, which you can check out in a disturbing entry made on the brilliant sports blog Deadspin.

This seems like a good time to ask why the Steelers employ a guy who (a) styles his hair like that, and (b) takes nearly-naked photos of himself in the mirror with his cellphone.

Before I go back to visit any of my relatives who still reside within the city limits of Pittsburgh, I'd like to have these questions answered.


---JohnnyUnitas

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