Cold Chinese Food

Here are some leftover tidbits (just like some cold cartons of chinese food in your fridge) from last weekend's action:

• I read this somewhere earlier this week, so I don’t claim to take credit for it, but: wouldn’t the Bears offense be way, waaaaay better off if they just simply removed the QB position from the backfield entirely and instead just put Devin Hester 25 yards behind center and snap the ball to him and he can pretend it’s a punt return? Wouldn’t their offense instantly become one of the ten best in the NFL? Am I wrong?

• With a 52-yarder at the end of the first half and then a 57-yarder for the win as time expired, Kris Brown is “Kris-Miss” no longer.
• Great quote that I got from my Page-A-Day Sports Calendar, and this was from Merril Hoge (former Steelers RB-turned-studio analyst), and here Merril was talking specifically about the city of Pittsburgh: "Drive into the city on a Monday and you can feel a win or a loss. I used to think it was that way everywhere, but it's not." Now, given the fact that I was born in Pittsburgh, I confess that I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing - but it does underscore the fact that Steelers fans are fanatical about their football team.
  

• Speaking of that Texans-Dolphins game, did you catch the post-game comments from Travis Johnson (whose knee gave Trent Green a concussion and knocked the poor guy unconscious)? As the big Texans defensive lineman was surrounded by microphones in the locker room, he said, “I have a lot of respect for Trent Green, but today at about 12:20, I said ‘F*** Trent Green’, know what I mean?” This has all been covered a lot obviously, but my take on it was that you could hear one of Johnson’s teammates (who was off-camera, so I don’t know who it was) trying to intercede and get the guy to stop talking – but he wouldn’t do it, and even shouted his teammate down as the guy tried to save #99 from himself.
• I love Steve Mariucci like a fat kid loves cake, but he is not a good studio analyst. Even Dan Marino, who may be the worst analyst (living or dead) thinks that Mariucci needs to work on being a little less dry.
• As a Clinton Portis fantasy owner, I can honestly say that I detest Mike Sellers. (I probably speak for all Chris Cooley owners nationwide, also, no? Sellers is robbing easy fantasy points from both Clinton AND Cooley.)
• Which reminds me... If you had to list the Top Three NFL Head Coaches Who Hate Fantasy Football Players, who would you have? My list would look like:

1. Mike Shanahan (Does his level-best to not be consistent with who gets the ball on that team. Remember the Mike Bell/Tatum Bell battery from a couple of years ago?

"Note to self -- List of things to do today: (A) beat the Chiefs, (B) screw fantasy football owners. Not necessarily in that order."

2. Bill Belichick (Likes to deceive with the Injury Report. I think Tom Brady has broken the all-time NFL record for "Most Consecutive Weeks Listed on the Injury Report with a Non-specific, Completely Imaginary Injury" - he's at 178 weeks and counting now.)"Who is the LEAST likely guy that fantasy football owners
would have on their rosters? What about Mike Vrabel?"

3. Bill Parcells (Yes, I realize he's not in the NFL any more - but it doesn't change how cruel and unjust he was to fantasy owners the world over. Hey, listen - just because Rich Kotite got fired from the Jets more than a decade ago, doesn't erase his title of Worst NFL Head Coach Ever - even though Art Shell gave him a run for his money last year. Am I getting off-track?)

"Aww, Bill, I'm so proud of you. You listened attentively to every
lesson I gave you about screwing over fantasy players."

• If you had gone to a Vegas book before the season and asked what kind of odds you could get that by Week 5 of the NFL season, the Saints and Rams would be a combined 0-9 while the Packers and Cowboys would be 9-1? I’m not sure what the odds would have been, but there would have been a comma in the number – baleeb it.
• Did you happen to see the highlights from the very end of the Jags-Chiefs game? The game was already over, with the Chiefs trailing 17-0 and under a minute left. The only suspense remaining was whether KC would be able to get in the end zone to avoid the shut-out. You could see the stands in the background, and there were like five fans left in each section. It looked like a Cleveland Indians game from 1984.

Have a great weekend, all! Good luck in your YouBeQB games.


---JohnnyUnitas